


Break Even

by mihomi98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:26:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihomi98/pseuds/mihomi98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco were so happy together until Harry decided to end things. Now it's ten years after the breakup, and Draco still hasn't healed.</p><p>Repost from fanfiction.net. Written in 2010.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Even

The dark clouds outside of Draco's dorm window shouldn't have been a bad omen, but the stormy weather gave Draco the feeling that something in his life was going to change drastically. Draco was unsure as to what it would be. Sighing, Draco got up from his lounging on his bed and slipped on his shoes before leaving the dorm. He was due to meet Harry in fifteen minutes time in the Room of Requirement. Draco walked slowly to his destination, lost in his thoughts.

 _I hope there isn't anything that's going to happen with Harry…. I love him so much, but yet I feel like something bad is going to happen._ Draco took a deep breath and twisted his fingers together as he leaned against a wall, his legs refusing to go any further. Draco's heart filled with dread as he thought about what might happen with Harry. There was nothing that scared Draco more than the thought of him losing his soon-to-be husband.

Draco had proposed to Harry a few months earlier, during their Christmas break. After being with Harry for two years (they got together in their 5th year at Hogwarts), Draco decided that it was time for him and Harry to take their relationship to the next level. There wasn't a fiber of doubt in Draco's mind that Harry was his soul mate. He prayed that Harry still felt the same.

Finally deciding that he had waited long enough, Draco made his way to the Room, pacing in front of the entrance three times before the door appeared. When he entered the room, Harry wasn't there yet, so Draco sat down on a couch to wait.

After waiting thirty minutes, Draco was started to worry about Harry.  _He's never this late…. I hope he's okay._ Draco looked up as he heard the door open. He smiled as a mop of messy hair appeared, but his smile fell when he saw the blank look in Harry's eyes.

"Harry…. What's wrong?" Draco asked skeptically, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He stood up and approached Harry, gently pulling the boy into a hug. Draco pulled away as h felt Harry stiffen against him.

"We need to talk, Draco." Harry led Draco over to the couch and sat down, motioning for Draco to do the same. Harry pulled his eyes up to meet Draco's. "I want to break up."

Draco felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs. "W-what? Why?"

"It's just not working anymore, Draco. I can't do this. I can't be with you."

"What did I do wrong? Tell me what it is, Harry, and I'll try to change it. Please, don't end this," Draco pleaded, tears starting to form. He hurriedly blinked, remembering that Malfoy's don't cry.  _They don't fall in love either,_ he reminded himself.  _You've already failed there._

"I just… I don't love you anymore, Draco. I've found somebody else." Draco felt his heart break as his greatest fear came true. Ever since he and Harry had started dating, Draco was terrified that Harry would get sick of him and find someone else, someone who wasn't the child of a death eater and someone that Harry's friends would approve of, someone as gorgeous as Harry, someone who Harry deserved. Draco always told himself that if Harry found someone better, he'd let Harry go, so Draco couldn't do anything but nod and say okay.

Draco stood hurriedly as he realized that he was about to start bawling. "I hope you're happy with them, Harry, Goodbye." With that, Draco rushed from the room as fast as he could, sprinting once he reached the hallway. He barely made it to his common room before he collapsed in a heap, sobs racking his body. There was only a few other people in the common room, but none of them knew what to do when Draco was like this. It didn't take long for someone to run off and find Pansy. She was the only person who could help Draco when he was as vulnerable as he was at the present moment. Pansy's eyes widened as she saw Draco's defeated form.

"Oh my god, Dray… what happened?" Draco responded, but his voice was too muffled by sobs to be understood. Pansy grabbed one of Draco's arms and pulled him up to his dorm room, for once glad that Draco's father had requested that Draco had private quarters. She pushed him onto the bed before sitting next to him, pulling him to her tightly. "Sweetie, what happened? I thought you and Harry were supposed to be hanging out today."

Draco nodded. "We were," Draco choked out, his voice shaking. "He broke up with me, Pansy. He told me that he found someone else and that he doesn't love me anymore."

"Bastard…" Pansy muttered. She kissed the top of Draco's head. "It'll be okay, Dray. You'll find someone else."

"No I won't, Pansy. Harry was my soulmate. I love him so much, Pansy," Draco hiccupped before starting to sob again. "I don't know what to do, Pansy. I told myself that if Harry found someone else that I'd let him go, but I feel so broken. We were getting married in two months! We were going to spend forever together! And now we're just over. There's not going to be any more nights when me and him fall asleep together. I'm not going to be able to make him laugh every day again." Draco buried his face into Pansy's shirt. "I can't call him mine anymore."

Pansy pulled Draco tighter, feeling his tears against her skin as they soaked through her shirt. Pansy rocked Draco until he fell asleep, and after laying him down gently on the bed, left the room.

XXX

Draco woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache. He felt beside him for Harry (Harry was in Draco's room nearly every night) before he remembered what had happened the night before, bringing fresh tears to his eyes. He bit his lip and forced away his tears.  _No. I'm not going to cry any more over this. I can make it through this._ Draco sat up slowly, trying not to make the pain in his head any worse than it already was.

Draco got dressed and made his way to Pansy's room. He didn't want to walk by himself to the Great Hall this morning. Luckily, Pansy had anticipated his arrival and was ready when he knocked on her door. Together they made their way down to the Great Hall, Draco's eyes cast at the ground as he walked. He was miserable, and he didn't think he could feel any worse until he crashed into someone.

"Sor-" Draco started to say until he realized who he crashed into. It was Hermione and Ron. Pansy had left Draco momentarily to go to the restroom, so Draco was alone to face the pair. He tried to step around them but the couple wouldn't let him.

"Looks like Harry finally realized what scum you are, huh Malfoy?" Ron spat nastily. He smirked as he saw Draco visibly flinch at the words. "He finally figured out that you aren't anywhere good enough for him."

"Do you really think that he loved you?" Hermione teased. "He was bound to find someone else sooner or later. Sure, you two were together for two years and you were getting married, but did you honestly think that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you? You're even dumber than we all thought, Malfoy." Draco felt his eyes fill with tears at Hermione's words. He looked back at the ground, but looked up when he felt something thrown at him.

"Here's that ring you so foolishly gave Harry. He forgot to give it back to you when he finally broke up with you. He should've done it earlier, in my opinion," Ron said before he and Hermione walked away. Draco started to shake and he dropped to the ground, letting all of his emotions out.

XXX TEN YEARS LATER XXX

TEN YEARS LATER

Draco thrust his hand out from under the covers of his silk sheets to turn off the alarm clock. He glanced at the side of the bed next to him before sitting up and getting out of the bed, the chill of the wood floor hitting Draco's feet as he started to make his way out to the rest of his flat in Wizarding London. Draco poured himself a cup of last night's coffee, grimacing as the bitter liquid made its way down his throat. Draco sighed and put the cup back down on the table, his heart feeling heavy and miserable.

"Draco?" Pansy called as she walked in through the front door of the flat. "Where are you?"

"In here!" Draco called back. Pansy came into the kitchen a moment later, her stiletto heels making clicking noises on the black tile. Her head was pulled back into a loose ponytail, a stark contrast to the dressiness of her silk top and skinny jeans. Pansy scowled as she saw Draco sitting in his pajamas.

"Draco, its noon already! You should be showered and dressed by now!" Pansy scolded. "You're never this messy."

"Have you looked at a calendar lately?"

"Yes, so?" Understanding came over her. "Oh… it's July 18th, isn't it." Draco nodded and Pansy sighed. "Honey, it's been ten years. You can't keep beating yourself up every year. It's just another day."

Draco put his head in his hands. "It's not just another day, Pansy. My wedding was supposed to be on July 18th." He looked over at the newspaper next to him. "The  _Daily Prophet_ says that Blaise and Harry are together now. You'd think that after ten years I wouldn't have a problem with finding out that Harry is dating someone, but I have to admit… it still hurts. It still fucking hurts a lot." Draco groaned and looked at Pansy, shaking his head to clear all thoughts of Harry away. Draco had tried so hard not to think of the man, and he succeeded most of the time, but on days like today… he just couldn't do it. He couldn't pretend that he was okay, couldn't pretend that he wasn't still head-over-heels in love. Couldn't pretend that he prayed every single day that Harry loved him again, that they'd have another chance.

"I'm sorry, honey," Pansy sympathized, putting her arms around Draco. She pulled him out of the chair. "Now up. Go shower. You need to be at the bar in an hour to set up for your performance tonight, remember?"

Draco shot up. "Oh shit, I forgot! Thanks for reminding me. I'll pick you up in an forty-five minutes." Draco kissed Pansy on the cheek before dashing off to the bathroom.

XXX

Soon it was 7:00, and Draco was supposed to start performing in five minutes. It would be his very first show, and to say he was nervous would be a complete understatement. Pansy walked in to check on him. "Are you ready?" Draco nodded. "Nervous?"

"Terrified is more like it. My first concert… I never thought I'd see this day." The manager ducked his head in and told Draco that it was time for him to start. Pansy hugged Draco, wishing him good luck, before Draco sauntered out to the stage and started to perform. He played for an hour before he got to his last song. He introduced the song.

"You guys have been a wonderful audience. I have one more song to play, and it's a bit different that the rest of my songs that I've played tonight. Even though I doubt the person this song is for will hear this, it's something I've needed to say since me and him broke up. When I was in my 7th year of school, I was engaged to the most amazing man that I've ever met in my entire life. He fell in love with someone else, and ended things with me, and unfortunately, I still can't get him out of my head and I'm still completely in love with him. I miss him more than anything in the world, even though he broke my heart and it still hasn't healed." Draco took a shaky breath and started to play.

" _I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing. Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in, cause I got time while he got freedom… cause when a heart breaks it don't break even,"_ Draco sang. " _His best days will be some of my worst, he finally met a man that's gonna put him 1_ _st_ _. While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping, cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even, no."_

 _"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're okay? I'm falling to pieces, yeah. I'm falling to pieces."_ Tears had started to drip down Draco's face as he poured all his pain that he's felt for the last ten years into the song.

" _They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding, cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving…. And when a heart breaks no it don't break even. What am I supposed to say when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're okay? I'm falling to pieces, I'm falling to pieces."_

By this point tears were streaming down Draco's face, and the lyrics to the song were slightly muffled, although the audience could still tell the generality of what Draco was saying, and many were crying alongside Draco, one man in particular. He was sitting in the back with two of his best friends. " _You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain. You took your suitcase, I took the blame. Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh cause you left me with no love, no love to my name."_

_"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing… just prayed to a God that I don't believe in, cause I got time while he got freedom, cause when a heart breaks it don't break even…"_

Draco couldn't get the last chorus out before his voice broke too much for him to be able to continue singing. His body shook as he stood up with his guitar and left the stage. He didn't care about the applause or the cheers that were being yelled for him, all he wanted was to be in Harry's arms again. He sank to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest, sobbing harder than he ever had in his entire life. To anyone passing by it looked like Draco had finally broken after pretending to be alright for so long, and that's exactly what had happened. Draco spent the last ten years telling himself that he was okay.

Draco yelped as he felt a strong pair of arms pull him up off of the floor and against someone's chest. As Draco was held by the sobbing man, he recognized the scent that was so uniquely Harry. Draco pulled back to look at his ex-lover in the face. He was shocked to see the pain that was showing in Harry's eyes, the raw emotion that Draco had never seen before.

"H-Harry?" Draco whispered, have trouble believing that Harry was really there in front of him. Harry nodded and Draco threw his arms back around the man, his heart feeling like it would explode when he felt Harry pull him into a tight embrace. Harry loosened his arms momentarily before pulling Draco into a passionate kiss, something that Draco had missed the most. Draco pulled away, leaning his forehead against the taller man's. "Are you real or am I imagining things?"

Harry chuckled. "I'm really here, Dray."

Draco pulled Harry closer. Both men were still crying. "I've missed you so fucking much, Harry," Draco admitted into Harry's shoulder. Harry pulled him tighter.

"I've missed you, too. I love you so much. I was an idiot for breaking up with you. I miss you. I love you." Harry kissed Draco again before there was a cough heard from the corner. It was Hermione. Draco paled as he remembered what she said to him after the breakup. Evidently Hermione remembered too, as she guiltily made eye contact with Draco.

"Mal- Draco, Pansy sent me back here to tell you that the manager wants you to go ahead and head home." Draco nodded and started to walk out the back door, Harry close behind him. "Oh, and Draco?" Hermione called. Draco stopped and turned around to face the girl. "I'm sorry about… you know. What I said." Draco nodded coldly and turned back towards the door. Harry cast a confused look between Hermione and Draco before rushing out after the boy.

"Draco, what did she mean what she said? What she said when?" Harry asked. Draco bit his lip and looked at the ground. "When did you two talk?"

"I haven't talked to her since me and you broke up," Draco said quietly. "But some things she and Weasley said the day after we broke up…. Some were pretty hurtful."

"What did she say?" Draco didn't say anything. Harry sighed and pulled Draco to a stop, leaning his and Draco's foreheads together. He kissed Draco on the nose lovingly. "Dray, tell me."

"She said…." Draco trailed off. He took a deep breath before continuing. "She told me that you were bound to find someone better sooner or later, even if we got married. And she said…." Draco started to cry softly.

"Baby, tell me." Harry put his hand under Draco's chin and tilted up his head so Draco had to look Harry in the eyes. "What did she say that upset you so much?"

"She said that if I honestly believed that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, I was dumber than everyone thought I was. Then Weasley threw this at me." Draco reached into his pocket and took out the ring that he carried with him every day. Harry's eyes widened at the sight.

"Is that…?" Draco nodded. "Oh, Draco… I'm so sorry."

"Why did you break up with me?" Draco asked suddenly. "Did you really find someone else? I mean, you deserve someone way better than me but…"

"Draco," Harry interrupted. "There is no one more perfect for me than you."

"Then why did you break up with me? If you loved me and wanted to be with me, why did you tell me that you had fallen in love with someone else?" Harry was quiet for a few moments before speaking.

"Voldemort was trying to find ways to get to me, and I didn't want you to be the bait that drew me to him. The last person that that happened to was Sirius, and he died because I was close to him. I couldn't let that happen to you. I wouldn't be able to live if I knew that I was the reason that you were dead."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Draco whispered. "Why didn't you contact me after you destroyed Voldemort?"

"I thought you hated me," Harry answered in a small voice. "I broke your heart. You should've hated me."

"I could never hate you, Harry."

"It hurt so much to break up with you. I was hoping that you'd fight back, that you'd know that I was lying about there being someone else so that I wouldn't have to go through with my plan. But you just went along with it. Why?"

Draco shifted and leaned his head on Harry's shoulder. He didn't want to answer the question. Harry could tell that Draco was uncomfortable, so he sighed sadly before telling Draco that he didn't have to answer. Draco shook his head.

"I didn't fight back because…. I was hurt and scared. Ever since you and I got together I told myself that if you ever found someone else that I'd let you be with them no matter how much it destroyed me."

Harry's emerald eyes met Draco's silver ones. "You really loved me back then, didn't you. You weren't just messing with my heart?"

Draco's jaw dropped. "How could you think I was messing with your heart?" Draco demanded. Harry shrugged and looked back at the ground. Draco forced the man to look at him. "Harry. I would've died if it had meant that it'd save you. I'd do anything for you. I still would. Harry, I've known ever since we started becoming friends that I wanted to be with you forever and nothing will ever make me stop loving you. Hell, I've spent ten torturous years telling myself that I needed to get over you, but I'm still crazy about you.I've  _never_ messed with your heart."

"Draco, answer me honestly. Do you want to give us another try?" Draco nodded and Harry gave a sigh of relief. "Thank God." Harry pushed Draco against a wall, and snogged Draco until the blonde felt weak in the knees.

Once the pair stopped for air, Draco muttered quietly, "Harry, please don't leave me again. I won't be able to take it if my hear t is broken like that again. Please." He looked into Harry's eyes nervously, his eyes showing how petrified he was of losing this man again.

Harry nodded. "I'd die if we ended again. I can't hurt you like that ever again. It'd destroy me too."

'I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Draco. Can we go back to your flat? I live with Ron and Hermione, and I don't want them around tonight. I  _need_ to hold you in my arms again." Draco nodded, and together the pair apparated back to Draco's home. They finally felt complete once again.

And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
